Sosuke sighed. In the past week, he'd gotten several visits, each and every one of them inquiring about one thing, and one thing only. And, if his instincts were correct, he was about to be asked again.

"Aizen-sama?"

The lord and master of Hueco Mundo winced and looked up at the inquiring party. "Yes, Ulquiorra?"

The quatro Espada looked vaguely perplexed, if the half-look on his face could actually be called an expression. "That... thing that Gin-sama's been carrying around with him..."

Sosuke bit back another wince. He knew it.

"...What is it?"

Now that one threw him for a loop. Behind him, Gin snickered and there was the soft sound of plastic crinkling, almost as if he'd drawn the thing closer to him. Sosuke couldn't help but wonder if this was some sort of twisted joke on Gin's part. However, when he looked closely at Ulquiorra's face, he realized it wasn't. The Espada was completely serious.

Stark, seeming to realize this, elbowed Halibel beside him. "He doesn't know what it is," he whispered loudly enough for everyone else to hear him.

Halibel shot him a look, and he grumbled, but settled down in his chair. Nel, being the child that she was and having completely forgotten everything, was just as confused as Ulquiorra. "Yeah! Tell uth what it ith, Aizen-thama!" she chirped.

The soon-to-be King blanched and glanced at Tosen, who appeared to think himself above the entire thing. Dammit. He took in a deep breath and let it out. "It's... A cheerleader doll," he finally answered, after debating whether or not he should send Nel out of the room for the following explanation. One look at Gin proved that the other man would just undermine his efforts later anyway, so he didn't bother.

This seemed to greatly intrigue both curious parties, though it was Ulquiorra who actually asked the question they were both thinking. "And why is there a hole in it's vaginal area?"

Sosuke resisted the urge to rub his temples and run away. Far away, where no one could find him. How could he explain this? "It's..." He trailed off, wondering where Kisuke was. He'd always been pretty good at explaining these sorts of things. Then again, if he showed up, Sosuke'd have to deal with him, and, while ever patient, he wasn't sure he would be able to keep from killing the shopkeeper at this point. "It's for..." He sighed and decided to simply put it bluntly, and save them all a headache. "It's for sex. Masturbation."

There was a moment's silence as the two took this in before Nel spoke up. "What's 'mathturbation'?"

It took a solid twack on the back of Stark's head from Halibel to cut off his gasping laughter. Sosuke was sorely tempted to do something extra nasty to his privarion Espada. However, he was unable to properly reprimand Stark when the doors opened slowly, as if hesitant to admit the person on the other side into the room. When Aizen had a clear view of who it was, he didn't blame the doors.

"Urahara," he muttered.

"You called?" the getaboshi asked cheerily, waving that damned fan around, almost coyly.

Aizen frowned slightly at him. "No," he answered honestly. Unless the man had some device that made it so he could show up if you so much as thought about him, not that Sosuke would put it past him, he hadn't called him at all.

"Hiya, Urahara-kun!" Gin greeted, flapping a hand in welcome.

"Why, hello Gin!" Urahara replied, his fan vanishing as he poured himself a cup of tea without being asked. "You needed something?"

Gin nodded. "Yep!" he agreed, smile stretching his lips.

Sosuke glared at first Gin, then Urahara, realizing that this was some sort of conspiracy. "What is the meaning of this?" he demanded thinly, frowning at them.

Urahara sipped the tea, his eyes widening. "So-kun! Who made this! It's devine!" he praised.

"Thank you," Ulquiorra spoke up, his face blank.

"Oh, my, I might have to steal him away from you, So-kun," Urahara said, grinning suggestively at Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra, unfortunately for the getaboshi, didn't seem to get it.

Aizen glared, making sure he was quick to deny Kisuke's impulse. "No."

The shopkeeper deflated. "Oh." He pouted for a moment, before turning once again to Gin. "Anyway! What was it you wanted again, Gin-chan?" he asked, smiling. Somehow, he'd pulled that damned fan out when Sosuke wasn't looking and was now waving it around gaily.

"Oh, yeah! This thing you gave me isn't working!" Gin chirped, holding up the cheerleader doll.

Urahara raised a brow. "Oh? What's wrong with it?"

"It ain' vibratin' like ya said it would..."

"Ah, I see. That is a problem, isn't it?"

Sosuke watched the two incredulously as they began to discuss what might have gone wrong with the apparent vibrator doll. Suddenly, Nel spoke up, repeating her earlier question, which Aizen had been trying to ignore.

"Well Aizen-thama?! What ith a 'mathterbation'?" she demanded impatiently.

Of course, this gained Urahara's attention, and he turned, smiling innocently. "Well-"

"Silence," Sosuke interrupted, giving in and rubbing his temples. "Not a word, Kisuke."

Stark looked at Halibel and mouthed the getaboshi's given name, giving her a questioning look. She ignored him.

"Oh, but she asked-"

"Not. A. Word," the overlord repeated firmly. "This entire conversation is over with. We have work to do."

So, shortly after that, Urahara left, and though nobody knew why, and few were willing to ask, the doll remained with Gin for two weeks, then inexplicably vanished without a trace, never to be seen again. Sosuke, however, was investing in Urahara-proof doors.