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It all started on a Saturday, the first Saturday of the month. Kagome had just gotten home from a long, hard, exhausting
day at work. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed and go to sleep. However, the moment she stepped into the house, she
had to pause and tilt her head.
Was that music?
Curious, she quickly and quietly closed the door, then inched
down the hallway toward Sesshomaru's room. The door was cracked open, and I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters was seeping into
the hallway.
However, that wasn't what made Kagome freeze and drop her car keys.
Inside his room, initially
oblivious to his audience, was of course Sesshomaru. And inside his room, thinking himself unwatched and alone, Sesshomaru
was dancing.
To Scissor Sisters. In the middle of his floor. And it wasn't even the normal guy-ish swaying or bobbing
his head. He was break dancing.
Break dancing. You know, that dance style one normally does to techno. And he
was doing it to Scissor Sisters.
"What is wrong with you?!"
Sesshomaru, standing on his head, suddenly
fell to the floor with a crash. Silence descended before he chanced a look at her. "Um..."
"Um? UM?! You were break
dancing to Scissor Sister, you lunatic!" she cried, unable to stop staring at him.
Sesshomaru coughed in embarrassment
while the song ended and then started to repeat. Kagome groaned. "Seriously? How long have you been AT this?"
He slowly
got to his feet, brushing his hands on his blue jeans and trying to regain his dignity. Trying. "Um... two hours. Give or
take," her boyfriend responded sheepishly.
She turned and thumped her head against the wall. "Excuse me while I go
try and gouge my eyes out," she said, turning out of the room.
"Wait!" he cried, lurching forward and clamping onto
her arm. "Don't do that. I like your eyes."
"Well, you know what? I don't. I will never be able to unsee that."
"Unsee
isn't a word."
Kagome glared at him. "Don't change the subject, mister," she snapped, poking him in the chest. "I am
mentally scarred for life, you know. Not only were you break dancing, you were failing at it."
He scowled. "I
fail at nothing."
Her eyes rolled. "Right. I forgot. You're Mr. Perfect," she deadpanned.
"I am perfect,"
he replied, arching a brow. Then, smoothly, he added, "Which would be why I am worthy of you."
She was unimpressed.
"Flattery, Sess, will get you nowhere." And with that, she turned on her heel and stomped off.
Thing number one:
break dance (please make sure the song is techno before you attempt this, otherwise you just look stupid).
xXx
She
didn't expect to catch him at it again. Well, not the break dancing. But the pure male stupidity.
He had her underwear.
Her
underwear. He sat in her room, rummaging through her underwear drawer, a magazine on the floor beside him. The model
on the front had on lingerie. … come to think of it, she had those panties...
Waitaminute.
"GET OUT OF
MY UNDERWEAR, YOU PERVERT!!" she screeched.
Sesshomaru leapt three feet in the air and landed on his feet, looking
around wildly. "Wait, what? Who did- I'll get them!" he cried and darted past her out the door.
Three, two, one-
"WAIT!
YOU CON ARTIST!!!" she screamed after him, realizing what he'd just done.
Luckily, he hadn't done anything... untoward
to her poor panties...
Thing number two: Pantie raiding (note that doing what your friends say worked for them will
not always work for you; plan ahead for emergency escape)
xXx
When in doubt, get drunk. When that doesn't
work, put on women's make up (this is only logical if you are still drunk).
Kagome walked into her house, saw the slumber
party going on (Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, Koga, Hojo and Shippo) and walked right back outside.
Then, she walked inside
the house once more and kicked everyone else out, making sure to get her make up back from them.
She made Shippo strip
before he could leave the house with her little black dress.
Thing number three: Get drunk. Please remember that
while getting drunk, it is a bad idea to start wondering what it feels like to be female (they are women and you will never
understand them).
xXx
After that fiasco, Kagome was forced to clean the entire house. Halfway through doing
so, she got a call from the police.
"Hello? Higurashi/Taisho residence."
"Is this Miss Higurashi? We have
Mr.s Taisho, Kitsune, Hojo and Ookami here that claim to have been staying at your house... they were downtown making a ruckus.
Could you please come pick them up? Please?"
The woman sounded very anxious, so Kagome quickly agreed. When she
got downtown and picked them up, she learned that they had been propositioning woman, Miroku-style.
The problem had
not been them at all. It had been the women fighting over who would have Sesshomaru's children.
Goddamnit.
Thing
number four: Pick up chicks. When doing so, please try not to proposition more than one at a time. Doing so may result in
a bloodbath.
xXx
The last straw came when Sesshomaru set the kitchen on fire. And when I say 'on fire' I
don't mean 'a little burst of too much flame on the stove'. I mean 'the fire was climbing up the walls'.
Kagome, unfortunately
for her, walked in on this. Her eyes widened when Sesshomaru went for the sink. "NOT WATER!" she shrieked, diving for the
pantry. "That'll make it worse!"
Quickly, she retrieved the fire extinguisher and used it. Soon, they were covered
in a faint white mist from the extinguisher and smoke was escaping through the open back door.
Kagome sighed in relief
once she was sure it was all out, then turned to glare at Sesshomaru. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she demanded irritably.
"First you're breakdancing to music that should not be breakdanced to. Then you start going through my underwear, then you
get drunk and almost cheat on me. So please, Sesshomaru, explain to me what has been going through your damned
head? What is making you behave this way?"
He frowned and looked away. "I have been preparing. And bonding. That was
the underwear thing."
"Bonding? With who?!" she demanded incredulously.
"With Sota," was the placid
reply.
She rolled her eyes and walked out of the kitchen, towards the living room that was a little less full of harmful
smoke. "And why would you be doing that?"
He shrugged. "It is important that I have him on my side."
Kagome
plopped down on the couch and crossed her arms. "Just explain it. I refuse to play twenty questions."
He nodded
and sat down beside her. "The breakdancing... Shippo informed me that some girls were impressed by that, so I was practicing.
Clearly, you are not one of those girls, so I gave up." He shrugged.
"And raiding my panty drawer?" she demanded, eyes
narrowed.
Sesshomaru coughed. "That was bonding. Sota said it was 'fun', but I had never tried it."
"Uhg. You
took advice on fun from a teenage boy?"
"Bonding," he repeated firmly. "Unfortunately, I wasn't sure what to do with
the undergarments after I had them, and you walked in before I could figure it out."
She rolled her eyes. "Okay, whatever.
Continue."
The inu sighed. "After that, I was a little depressed about how you had been ignoring me since the panty
thing... Shippo realized this and decided to have a party. Unfortunately, all of his friends are afraid of your wrath and
did not show up, so we got drunk on our own. I do not remember much, but apparently, we decided that the best way to understand
women was to dress like them."
Kagome snorted, but didn't interject.
"Clearly, that was more the alcohol than
it was common sense. I do not remember anything about anything after that, so what we were thinking then will forever remain
a mystery." Gold eyes slid toward her. "And as for today..."
"The fire?" She gave him a dry look.
"I was trying
to cook a romantic dinner. However, I had to go kill a demon after the shikon and then forgot about the food on the stove.
Gas stove... open fire... paper towels on the back of it... bad combination."
"I'll say," Kagome muttered. "We'll have
to get a new stove now." She sighed. "So this was all just a random series of events? You never did explain why you were trying
to cozy up to my brother..."
Sesshomaru suddenly looked a little nervous, shifting in his seat. "Ah, that."
"That,"
she echoed, eyes narrowing on him.
"Well..."
"Yes?"
"You see..."
"Just spit it out, Sesshomaru.
You aren't going anywhere until you do," she informed him.
He sighed and got up, retrieving something (a black box?)
from the mantel over the fake fireplace. "As he is the man of the house, it is the demon way to get his permission...." He
knelt on one knee in front of her. "So I had to have him on my side. Rather simple a mission, considering he's a human teenager."
Her
eyes were riveted on the box he held up at that moment. "Really?" she murmured, trying to quell her excitement.
"Yes,"
he replied. "The reason is... I needed that so I could ask you to marry me. Normally, a demon such as I would wish for a mating,
but as you are a human - and a miko - you should be courted in the human manner."
Kagome swallowed when he opened the
box, revealing a silver and diamond engagement ring. It was absolutely gorgeous, and she couldn't think of what to say. Well,
except, "Don't open it! The smoke will damage it!"
Sesshomaru chuckled. "Right. Kagome, will you just say 'yes, Sesshomaru,
I will marry you'?"
"Okay. Yes, I'll marry you! Now shut it!" Despite her words, she threw her arms around his
shoulders before he could close it, hugging him tightly. "Thank you," she added, starting to cry.
"Thank you,"
he replied, amused.
And they lived happily ever after.
Well... after they spent two hours arguing while they
cleaned up the smoke damage.
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