It started with cookies. Cookies that looked rather... Odd. Gin had frowned and picked one up, studying it's strange shape. Were cookies supposed to shine like that? He'd then bitten into it. Suddenly, their shape made sense and he'd spit the cookie out, feeding the rest of them to Tosen, since he couldn't see them anyway. Needless to say, Tosen had enjoyed the 'creamy insides'. Gin just knew the other man was gay.

The next time, it wasn't cookies, but a cake. Gin didn't bother with it and cut it in half before giving half to Grimmjow and the rest to Tosen, who inquired about all the attention. Gin told him that it was 'friendship week' and continued about his day, quietly snickering to himself.

Then, he recieved a dildo. A... shiny, rubber dildo. He shuddered and gave it to Halibel, claiming he'd found it and thought it was her's. She lied and said it was, not even blushing as she took it from him and went to find Stark.

Finally, with the last - a shiny plushy with it's cock in plain view - Gin had had enough. He demanded of Aizen taicho who was sneaking into Las Nochas every day to give him dick-shaped items, only to hear that they hadn't snuck in, but were invited. Gin gaped.

"Are... Are ya serious?" he asked, not sure what to think. It was... It was preposterous, it was annoying, but most of all- It was confusing as all hell. "Who is it?" he demanded next.

Aizen taicho had motioned to his guest, sitting at the table having tea with him. The Quincy, a slightly amused smirk on his face, gave a little wave before sipping some of his tea. "Hello, Ichimaru," he greeted.

Gin blinked dumbly at him, then grinned. "You? Well, ya shoulda said so. I always liked pretty things."

Ishida smirked back. "Well, I'm glad you think I'm 'pretty'," he murmured amiably. "But I've previously been claimed."

There was a slight shift under the table, and Gin suddenly got it. They'd been totally screwing with him. He pouted. "Bu', I though'... No!" he cried out, mortified, as Uryuu and Aizen taicho began to make out right there.

-

Gin sat up straight in bed, his hand automatically searching the sheets next to him. He let out a relieved sigh when he felt his lover stir and curl into him. "What...?" Uryuu groaned, frowning and pushing Gin back down so he could lay his head on the other man's chest.

"It was horrible..." Gin moaned, hooking his elbow over his eyes.

"What was?"

Gin groaned as Uryuu's slightly cool hand brushed against his cock, the body part instantly responding. "You were... With... Aizen taicho."

Ishida paused, half propped up to begin making love to Gin. "Are you serious? He looks like Elvis, why would I want him?"

Gin shrugged. "I dunno, tell that ta my dreams."

Ishida rolled his eyes. "Stop dreamming such silly things. Here." He reached over to the bed stand and picked something large up. "I got up earlier and made these, since I couldn't sleep."

Gin stared in horror. It was a cookie sheet. And on it... were twelve shiny, dick-shaped cookies.